Rambling

 It has been a silly week so far. In fact the past few days have been pretty sick at work.

Being trustworthy comes at a cost I guess. Everyone wants to offload their decisions and no outward communications from me, made it all a hotch potch in my head. Especially when at the other end there was my colleague who though lazy and unworthy of the position, also is a friend. :|

What was sad at the end of it was that some information given out to my co worker was not shared with me and vice versa. It kind of shook me up actually. And when my co worker exchanged notes with me, I was so moved when he mentioned that he could not upset the person in question since she was pregnant.

Why should it move me? Why would I even cry for her? His statement took me back to my own pregnancy when my D was just a dot in my tummy. I can hands down say, no one ever cared for how I felt. No one ever made me feel wanted, special and safe. No one pampered me or stroked my back and said, okay come on, you need to rest , why don't I do something for you?

Instead, I would work close to 12 hours a day at office, in the middle of which we were asked to vacate our house at Mumbai. I had 8 days to search and move to a new house. I must mention that God helped me through it all. Atleast the new owner was so considerate looking at my pregnant state, he decided to give us the house. Moving and setting up house was another challenge. After which we moved cities. :|

The one wish I have close to my heart is that if God ever asks me to relive some part of my life, I would want to relive my pregnancy again. This time I would love someone to care for me, to look after me like a feather though I don't appear like one. I would love to feel like a woman all over again.

Nowadays I feel like a man with a uterus! So there! :(